(11.1) Mr. Fancy Pants

Chapter 11, Part 1

By the time I reached a civilized area of town I had shed my shirt and broken open a fire hydrant, soaking myself to the core with water in an attempt to wash off the blood that was seeping into my pants. Once I was on the strip, I made my way to the first suit shop I could find.

“Hi! Welcome to..” Started the man at the door, trailing off as he got a good look at my impersonation of a drowned rat. “Jesus buddy what happened to you?”

“I was stripping at a bachelorette party when someone ran off with my shirt and body slammed me into a swimming pool.”

John, which is what his little gold-plated name tag stated as his name, stared at me for a moment before his plastic smile returned. “Well, what can I get you today?”

I looked around the store for a moment, seeing if there was anything that jumped out at me. After a moment, I sized up John’s outfit. The man had the look of a high-roller. Fancy suit, matching tie, and Italian shoes that would have looked great on me. 

“I want what you’re wearing, but I want it in black, minus the jacket, and I want the tie to be red.” I said, thinking about it a bit more. “Also, I want three of them, and I want them in silk. Can you do that for me John?” I could almost see the dollar signs forming in his eyes as he turned the  sign in front to closed, locking the door before leading me to the back to get me sized up .

“Closing early John?” I asked.

“Yes sir, I’m the only one working tonight and this is going to take a while.”

Not long after the tape-measure molestation he had me dry off and put on the outfits, fitting and tailoring them to me on the spot. After a few hours, I had restocked my clothing and I looked and felt better than I had since the first time I’d met Mab.

“Well sir,” John said as he started ringing me up. “Will you be paying for these in cash or can I offer you our store credit card? If you sign up for it, I’ll even knock 10% off of your purchases today.”

“Mmm, tempting John, but I was really thinking more along the lines of me smashing your head into the counter and leaving.”

“What?” He said, an expression of fear filling his expression. He stood there for a moment, maybe trying to see if I’d really do it. When I reached for my wallet he visibly flinched, cringing until he realized what I was doing.

When he was laughing at the supposed joke, I grabbed him and did what I promised. The force of the impact actually shattering the counter enclosure, spilling shards of glass and cuff-links onto the floor. He didn’t scream as the impact had apparently knocked him out. I made sure he was still breathing before I started to take my leave.

A man with his skill deserved to live in my opinion.

As I left, one of the mannequins in front caught my eye. It had on a beautiful trench coat that, I found out as I put it on, was just about ankle length on me. It’s weight felt a bit odd, but it was a comforting weight, one that just made me feel good. After getting a look in the mirror to see how it looked on me, I headed out to find a hotel.

The first hotel I came across was a Marriott, the lobby reminding me of my night’s earlier endeavors. Key in hand, I made my way to my room which was, ironically, on the 16th floor. When the elevator doors dinged open, my new coat made me even happier as the temperature seemed to plummet, growing colder as I approached my room.

I found out why as soon as I opened the door. A woman whose beauty could destroy planets sat on the bed. She was partially nude, except for the tendrils of mist and fog that coiled and writhed around her, hiding everything, yet leaving nothing to the imagination.

“Hello James.” She said. The sound of her voice sent shivers down my spine, causing words to leave me for a moment as every thought in my head immediately changed to Her and Her alone. Eventually I was able to form a coherent thought and sputter out a greeting

“Hello  Mab.”